Rosie Boycott, Wikipedia tells me, “is a British journalist and feminist.” She has also written the worst review (or quasi-review) I’ve ever read. To be sure, I’m slightly biased, as I believe Juno to the best film of the year (yes, it beats out the magnificent There Will Be Blood) and it is my favorite movie of all time. Nevertheless, her review of Juno is a mess, combining her poor memory and an affinity for ascribing messages to the movie which do not exist.
The first thing of note in her review is her terrible attempt at quoting lines from the movie. In fact, nearly attempt at doing so is a complete failure. To wit:
There are no tears when she finds out she’s expecting and her laid-back, wholesome boyfriend Bleeker, who runs in the local school’s track-team, says merely: “Boy, what shall we do?”
The line, actually, is “So, what do you think we should do?” And, unless you think that body language doesn’t exist, Bleeker certainly does not “merely” do anything. He looks absolutely frightened, as only Michael Cera could. As the script calls for, and is evident in the film, there is an awkward silence at that moment.
“I’ll nip it in the bud before it gets worse,” she replies, matter of factly. “It can lead to an infant.”
Again, this quotation is wrong. It removes the entire middle part of the sentence.
“I’m calling to place a hasty abortion,” she tells the operator.
In fact she calls to procure a hasty abortion.
The protester smiles at her. “God appreciates this miracle,” she tells her.
God, actually, appreciates your miracle. Su-Chin is clear on this.
Only her father raises a small eyebrow: when he hears her news, he shakes his head in disappointment and says: “I thought you were the kind of girl who knew when to say no.”
J.K. Simmons’ line is “I thought you were the kind of girl who knew when to say when.”
Now I don’t mean to imply that a reviewer must remember word-for-word the entire script, but when she gets every single quotation wrong, you have to question her abilities. Some of those lines are memorable so there is no reason to get them all so terribly, terribly wrong.
Because Juno let her guard down and had a single sexual experience with a sweet, well-intentioned boy, she alone is left with what would normally be an ordeal of sorrow and public shame.
There is no indication that Juno “let her guard down”, rather she made a premeditated decision, as Bleeker later proves, to have sex with him.
The final scene of the movie shows Juno and her boyfriend returned to their carefree adolescence, the baby - safely in the hands of his rapturous and responsible new mother - all but forgotten.
As the film closes, they’re both strumming their guitars on the steps outside Bleeker’s house, just two happy teenagers without a care in the world.
I’m not sure what version of Juno Boycott watched, but it certainly wasn’t the same one I saw. The main scene just prior to the closing shots show a completely different story. Boycott convinently ignores Juno’s post-birth breakdown with Bleeker as she understands that she’ll never see her child again.
Boycott’s thesis is that Juno is a) an affront to the pro-choice movement and b) a fairytale account of teenage pregnancy. This might be a convincing take on the movie if it were a documentary. Being that it isn’t, it is a mistake to assume that Diablo Cody had such devious intentions for this movie. Cody’s goal, as I see it, was to write a funny, touching, throurogly entertaining coming-of-age story with a unique storyline. In this, she succeeds mightily.
Juno, in the end, is a work of fiction. It is properly pro-choice, that is, it doesn’t declare one choice above another. The character of Juno makes her choice but there is no hidden message that states all pregnancies are the same. To take a moral lesson from this movie is to show ones ignorance and bias.